cynicism:
cynic
noun
1a person who sees self-interest as the primary motive of human behaviour, and who disincline to rely upon sincerity, human virtue, or altruism as motivations.
-a person who questions wether something will happen or wether it is worthwhile.
oscar wilde said a cynic is "A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing"
so yesterday was my birthday. another year older but not any wiser. this year was really strange and i'll tell you why. it all started about four weeks ago when my sisters started asking for my christmas list.(we do that in my family) when they asked i couldn't think of anything i wanted so i just sort of ignored the question. a week went by, and still i didn't want anything. and this continued right up until yesterday where they threatened me they'd give me nothing for my birthday. and i said "thats fine." not because i'm bitter or stubborn but because i honestly can't think of anything i need or want.
i started to thinking why am i like this? do i really have everything? am i truly that altruistic to void myself of wanting...? NO . then what the hells wrong with me. if people wanna give you free stuff you take it! don't you? i mean presents are free stuff right? maybe this is just another case of me avoiding life. me avoiding birthdays. great next thing you know i'll be looking for ducks at the pond and wearing stupid red hunting hats screw you caulfield i'm not you.. i don't know why i didn't want anything.
i miss love.
what a great feeling.
5 comments:
hey happy belated. i meant to call you but in all honesty i was busy and forgot. I know i'm horrible, please forgive me! I read your blog before this one and i'm glad that you are trying to be honest with yourself as much as i am. hang in there. if you want to talk, i'm always here. you know my number homie. Happy Belated Birthday :)
happy birthday
i'm like that too. i guess most things in life that one wants is not bought by money. i dunno you tell me big brother!
happy belated birthday i would of messaged you on facebook but i was scared youd say something like "seth is gayshit" but instead you decided to hate on my blog about oth and you just killed my soul SO happy birthday,and when in doubt ask for food,shoot!
p.s OTH = <3 x 23 stoppin hating everything i like,next thing you know your goona say john mayer instead of talib kweli,kill me now please.
I just finish catcher in the rye last night so I totally got your last part.
BIKE PARTS! Obvious want all the time. Always parts that need upgrading. EASY.
sorry i didnt get to wish you a happy birthday
ive been busy for the past couple month or so and i didnt really have the time to check facebook.
happy hella belated birthday.
and merry christmas and happy new year while im at it
I read all the posts you guys had on re-define dope already so i thought that id move on to your own blog hahaha, got some dope stuff here, wish i can put pen to paper as good as you, but i dont really know how to express myself through writing, my vocabulary is pathetic haha
anyway, i felt the same way before. i didnt want anything for my birthday either. or christmas. i just didnt know what i wanted. i kept askin myself, do i have everything that i want?, the answer was no, but it seemed like i didnt want anything cuz i had everything i needed at the time. i guess as you grow older your thoughts change from what you want, to something that is essential, which is what you need, if you have everything you need, you dont want anymore.
i dont even know if that makes any sense whatsoever...
oh and also your not the only one avoiding life. i avoid it like the plague. i just cant face reality head on. i gotta overcome that
gotta just be raw and aggressive, treat life the same way as battling. eventually we'll overcome it...i hope
but anyway i was scrolling down and this post caught my eye so i thought that id just give my 2 cents, whatever thats worth hahaha
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