Monday, August 24, 2009

sometimes music says what words can not, don't you think?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

sing it al

Friday, August 21, 2009

as my mind becomes weary and i begin to drift closer and closer to the manufactured colors of my subconscious. i think of life. is it a circle or is it a line? do we travel straight, or do we travel only to find we've come back to where we started?

i hear sounds, chiming of the winds touching metal, metal touching metal, reverberating the air traveling through the breeze across the fence across the grass through the window and in to my ears. subtle sounds of leaves blowing, clapping like a gentle applause. the night time breeze is quite beautiful, soothing. i used to think God is the wind blowing the leaves. i'd look up at the waves of air moving across the sea of leaves like long flowing hair, the trees breathing, the grass dancing, like a child's hand feeling water of a pond. wind by scientific explanation is the un even heating of the surface of the earth causing low and high pressure areas: wind. but i like my definition better... the novelty of God's wind has not worn off on me. as i sit and meditate on life i can only smile as i feel the gust of wind.

i don't care about phone calls or text messages, all i really want is ice cream... i could really go for some right about now.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

"hey God why are you shaking my life?"

"because you need it.."

"what the hell for? no pun intended.."

"ha-ha very funny... have you forgotten? 'my power is made perfect in weakness.' ... you think you're down and out, but i think you're just getting started. . . start living like you mean it!!"

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

a bunch of crap i'm thinking.

what if i was a girl. what if instead of two girls one boy my parents had three girls. what would my life be like?

God, i feel lonely.

i think i'm kind of like a dog, a loyal companion. waiting for my master, through rain and snow, just waiting.

am i a "catch"? what defines a "catch"? cook clean and a kind heart?

i wish someone would just "catch" me already.

i keep having all these weird dreams about companionship...

i shouldn't have eaten that candy.

i should have eaten dinner.

i wish i didn't read that.

sometimes you just need to escape this world.

life is like a free floating feather, dancing to the sway of the wind this way and that way. whenever you try and catch it it slips through your fingers. there is something so majestic about it's mystery. we inhabit this space and time in this one dimension of world we see. but the feather floats on here there where ever it wants really, both unpredictable and unchanged by our choices. but we can all hope that for one split second of our lives that feather will fly and gently drop right into our hands. so we can admire it, if only for that one moment. then as soon as it came it flew right away.

Monday, August 10, 2009

my fingers smell like onions.


we spend our lives in front of screens in this new age of technology. we wake up check our texts on a screen, get on the computer check our emails on a screen, watch the morning news on what else a screen. buy our transfers, read this blog on a screen, live your life according to a screen... cell phone, ipod, laptop, tv, cash register.. everything is a screen and i'm getting sick and tired of seeing screens all damn day! you ever see those gum commercials ( on what else your television screen) and they say
"the original instant message"
the irony of it all..
i understand to a certain extent that we need them in our lives. but i've noticed we border line on obsession over these fickle things. stop letting pixelated red blue and yellow dots dictate your life. try calling instead of texting.. try waking up and instead of checking your phone step outside in your pj's and smell the cool dewy air, feel the soft grass and the cold little drops of water between your toes. we live in this infinite playground of adventure and yet people refuse enjoy it.. instead they prefer to be bound by their chains of appointments and programs and television sets. you become numb to this world. you see a picture of the planet and you say "oh hey it's earth." and go about your day. like a flower in full bloom it should be admired because you may not see it again for a very long time... don't waste your chance.

feel, smell, taste, touch, see !!!

live for each moment! Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away. jump off a cliff into a pool of water! splash in a big puddle! ride your bike as fast as humanly possible! scream at the top of your lungs! tell that girl you like her!!!
cause you might not get that chance again.. we live in this brief existence of beauty, fleeting beauty.. and if you close your eyes for a second you miss out on everything. don't let the reason YOU missed out on happiness be because you didn't take that plunge. a chance at happiness is better then a guaranty of sadness.

an old dead roman once said "fortune favors the bold"
so go live life unlimited.  stop reading this crazy talk already.

Monday, August 3, 2009

refreshing adventure.

i can only describe this as exhilarating!!! yesterday the heat was killing it. so there i was just laying there in my bed beads of sweat dripping down my forehead. and all i could think of was how to escape this damned heat. i felt like a blob just laying there. then the thought of swimming hole popped into my mind. i had heard there were a few a few minutes outside of vancouver. i mean come on! a cool clean oasis! sounds like and adventure to me. something about my up bringing has taught me to crave adventure and savor it with each bite.
what more could a guy ask for??
another guy who was as stoked as i was said " people don't even know... they go to pools and water parks and pay.. this place is like nature's giant free playground!! they don't even know.. i'd take this over that any day!" then he did a front flip off the water fall. insane.
then as i watched him jump and survive, but jump without a regret in this world... i decided you can't come to a place like this and not experience everything it's got! so i climbed up and went down a few currents til i was where he was. there i was standing not knowing what lay beneath scared as hell to jump. i thought of my life thus far and all the things i cherish in this world. my heart pounding in my chest i freed my mind of regrets and hopes and just lived in that moment. took a deep breath said a quick prayer and thought to myself "no one ever said you'd live forever." and stepped off the cliff.
instant exhilaration. i felt so alive! definitely one of the happiest moments of my life.
i've been thinking about it lately. i mean thinking about "no one ever said you'd live forever.." Jesus said i'd live forever. i think in some way God telegraphed the message to me to live. and live not knowing what tomorrow brings so live vicariously. live for each moment. live knowing you could die at any moment anyways.. so don't live with regrets in your heart. love life.. in that one leap of faith God taught me to enjoy what i have now, enjoy this world and this heaven on earth because thats what it's here for.
"therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. each day has enough trouble of it's own." 
matthew 6:34

life unlimited.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

we coincidentally exist in the windmills of our minds. 
a wind a breeze gently through a through into my mind.
the cool summer nights bring me to that place where never is forgotten 
and often later is a maybe. 

a breeze takes me this way and a breeze takes me that way.
a breeze takes my breath away.
in the windmills of our minds.