Sunday, January 6, 2008

right now i'm pissed off at my self .. i keep seeing my friends grow in bboying and they become stronger i can see their technique and their flavor but i look at my self and i feel it in me. i think every time before a battle "i'm gonna kill it this time" "this time i'm gonna stay calm and i'm gonna get some respect." but everytime my heart races and i fail to meet my standards. i try so hard to rise to my friend's levels but i can never catch their coat tails. today i am so pissed off because i was so close to breaking my curse of never passing prelims in a battle but i choked and i didn't lay my moves down how i did in practice. i have to start improving or else it will have all been a waste. all those days lying on the floor, back so sweaty, arms sore , lungs breathing heavy. those days that turned to nights that turned to days again. of on the edge or masochistic style training . they will have all been for nothing and my face and name will be forgotten. i can't have that . i worked too hard for this . put too much blood sweat and tears into this. i'm a bboy and i love hiphop i can't just forget it. i am a bboy i live it, i eat it, i dream it, i believe it. . . . cause hip hop ya don't stop and i can't and won't i'm just so pissed right now i need to hit my next level cause i'm tired of this failure stuff. God willing i'm gonna be remembered !

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