Thursday, April 18, 2013

to dust.

while i was on my way home a couple weeks ago the thought struck me: it's all in vain.  i was sitting on the skytrain looking out the window at all the lights and the buildings and construction. all i could think of was how fleeting everything is in the face of eternity. the human race is constantly pushing forward new technology new medicine new understandings. but how long does it last? how long does anything last? as i was looking at the buildings go by i felt a sudden pang in my heart. as large and sturdy as any building may appear they all have an expiry date. wether it be to replace the old with the new or to fulfill the need of an exponentially growing population... all things fade and become old and worn even concrete turns to dust. who decides what is worth saving and what is to be forgotten? at what point is something considered heritage and not garbage. i've often pondered the thought of being forgotten.

think about it like this. do you own anything that belonged to your grand parents? yes maybe? how about your grand parent's parents or their parent's parent's parents.. this is confusing.. i know that some families have heirlooms that go back many generations but my point is of all your possessions what will be around in a hundred years? of all your most precious possessions what will your grand children's children hold on to? and what will those things mean to them?

i don't know about you but i don't truly know anything personal about people who lived a thousand years ago all i know is they lived in a very different world than i do. we can get a glimpse into their lives through writing yes but can we ever actually feel what they felt exactly the same way they felt it? can you ever truly feel someone else's pain? you can put yourself in their shoes but you can't put yourself in their skin and live their life the way they live it. and so our everyday lives are just like shadows walking around caught in a endless cycle of greed and "progress" and "dog eat dog". we are a spec upon a spec upon a spec.. we forget that space and time are infinite and the drama in our minuscule lives will easily become dust in time. . .

humans are animals... we pretend like we're separate from nature... but we're just dressed up chimps acting as serious as possible. always separate... we incapsulate ourselves within castles, move around in bubbles, deeper and deeper into our own delusion that we are somehow superior to birds in the sky or beasts in the forest. that is why we believe it's our right to control things because we somehow believe we're all separate beings. we're all on this planet together! we're all animals too! your shit stinks just like mine. so why the need to feel superior or for that matter inferior. we all just want to be happy... pride and ego are a human invention. you ever see a gazelle grazing in grass and suddenly the gazelle is like "FUUUUCK YOU GRASS!!" no... the base nature of any animal is chill relax go with the flow look up at the clouds see that they're moving. if you're moving so fast through life you'll miss half the adventure when you move too fast you forget the clouds are moving you have to stop a second to stare at them and realize they are in fact moving.. stress and pressure turn us into the scary kind of animals the animals that hurt or hunt for fun or fight and kill for territory or a mate... we spend our lives constantly seeking approval from everything around us parents, siblings, friends, coworkers the opposite sex, our own gender.. everything is in the garnering of other people's social and economic approval why is it the last person we worry about being good enough for is ourselves. at the end of the day it's your life and you're the one who has to live it ev-ver-y-day. be the hero of your own story. nothing is ever too late to change or start or become. you can be whoever you want to be thats the beauty of this thing life.

every human should learn to not take themselves so seriously. just laugh at yourself once in a while.. know that you can't please everyone (not even yourself sometimes) just because you can go fast doesn't mean you know how to go slow.

ps. i'm realizing more and more just how many people find me repulsive in my thinking. lets sit down and have a chat. talk about life see where i'm at i'll see where you're at. we can be real with each other and debate/dialogue what it means to be a human on this planet. i'm not afraid to be stupid... lets understand each other.

love and respect

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