Wednesday, December 31, 2008

i think i'll crawl somewhere dark and warm and hope it ends swiftly..

i'm laying here.. looking at these keys...thinking... what can i type to make things right. what can i type to make things be different... . . . nothing. if i could do it all again, i'd do it differently.

i'd tell you more stories when you asked me to. i'd fight your parents to the bone for you. i'd tell random guys looking at you to take a hike, even if they weren't looking at you.. i'd be less frugal with my money and spoil your ass rotten and fat. i'd spend more time with you... like what the fuck is a day. who says "half a day is all i can do ."WHO THE FUCK!?! i'd be a man, not the boy.

but it's gone. and when i look at these tears thinking where did it all go? i know.. i know i did the right thing in the end. you deserved better then what i had. better then what i got. better then who i am. if you had the slightest chance of meeting someone that could give you all the things i couldn't, then you'd still be better off. because at least you wouldn't have to fail with me.

my life will never be the same. and thats the truth. you walk a different path one not connected to my own. one with virtue, one with importance. this makes me glad. someday i'll tell my son, not about "the one that got away" but "the one i let go" i'll tell him

son when you are my age you will know this to be true. but for now you'll just have to believe me. there is nothing more important then love. not money, not time, not life, not anything in this world. love is the most important thing. so if you love someone remember that. and if someone loves you remember that.

so this new years i've decided to renew an old tradition . being sad and lonely. don't give me your pity... i can live with these consequences. because... no rose will last forever.


vuudoo said...

it gets harder around the holidays.
and crawling somewhere dark let alone warm isn't going to make it go away.

as hard as it is, you're going to continue with life and put it in the past.

float on, ryan.
my take on it; loves great and all, but it slows me down. I have yet to see a female catch up to me.
if you ever need to talk it's the least I can do

joymoreno; said...

it's rare to see true love. and this is it right here. You are a good man ryan. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Even if you might not think so...she was a lucky girl!
We make mistakes and at least you learned a really important lesson.
Let's make this new year a good one k?