burn after reading.

for the past two weeks i've been trying to write something, anything! but nothing i wrote ever seemed to materialize into anything. not that i have anything to write now..

i've made a lot of mistakes. how can i stress that enough? i became something i knew i wasn't. i turned my back on God... i turned and walked away. chasing the lie that you only live once. drinking, partying, meeting random girls. no one was more disappointed in me then me... i became "that guy" the one i decided never to become. every time i hear about clubs or drinking it makes me cringe, not because i look down on it, but because of the shame i feel for turning my back on what my heart was telling me. like stuffing your conscience into a stinky bag and hiding it under your bed. i find the more you stuff that voice into that bag the quieter it gets, until one day you can't even hear it anymore, and you can't tell the difference between wrong and right. mistakes mistakes mistakes... i wish i could take them back, take them ALL back. regret much? tell me about it...

but this story doesn't end badly. in fact, it's still being written. my eyes and my life are pointed in the right direction, and that is up. it's so easy to forget who holds you up.. you can't let God down... he holds you up. and you can't regret life. you have to just live it and live it well. sure if you have hurt people then ask for forgiveness.. then move on. we aren't supposed to get hung up over our failures. tell me where in the bible it says "hold on to regret." no where! thats where.. if you ever read about what kind of guy Jesus was you'd know all he talked about was loving God and believing in yourself. jesus was the kind of guy that would shake you and say "snap out of it man you aren't helping me by beating yourself up! get out that door and make change!"

life is unlimited right?

regret is like a secret message that is supposed to be destroyed after you read it. feel it fix it then throw it away!

this was pretty silly but i'll force myself to not delete it.


counting the minutes til wednesday ...