Thursday, September 10, 2009

two wheels and the road.

as much as i like to think i have a direction in life... the final say is not up to me. the things i pursue are just that, things i chase after. nobody gave me a guaranty of this or that, i just chase.. hope to God i can catch. with the hand full of concrete things in my life riding my bike is one of them. it doesn't have any preconceived notions of who i am, or have standards for me, or built up expectations of who i should be, it just sits there and waits to go fast. me and my 979 vitus. it's nothing much but i've heard back in it's day someone used one just like it to win the tour de france. so as i ride i relive the colored history of this bike. the bike that is older then i am.. the bike that has had many owners. the bike that was cared for enough to have a 600 dollar durace sti drive train installed. make no mistake it may look nostalgic but it's the equivalent to putting a ferrari engine in a vw beatle. it's my therapy. when everything in the world gets to be just a little bit too much i just hop on and pedal til the worlds a blur. something about the familiar feel of leather against jeans, and torn foam wraps on the palms of my hands... makes something change. and as i coast down the slight slope of my drive way to the curb my mind empties and the animal instinct comes alive. the quiet whir of wheels spinning and gears clicking. i breath deep and pedal my first stroke, around the bend and up the hill faster and faster until wind is blowing in my face. cool air rushing towards me. i can't slow down if i slow down the wind stops and when the wind stops the joy stops. so i keep pedaling faster and faster gear up gear down faster faster we go. i smell that smell, the smell of cold air on summer's morning, between that smell and the wind rushing towards my face i can think of no greater high this world can offer. the wheels keep turning and i keep going. higher and faster, up, anywhere the road takes me.. but it must be up. because with 'up' comes the promise of 'down' and with down i get to experience what people search their whole lives for...

. . .freedom. . .

when we go fast nothing can touch us, nothing matters.. for the few minutes i go down that hill i'm like a bird.. i'm flying and the world becomes silent. it's just me.. alone.. i feel like i'm cheating death every second i'm going faster. thinking "no human should be going this fast..." but i get greedy and go even faster. pushing the the limits of every component.. every nut bolt wire bearing gear. when it's just me two wheels and the road everything that is complicated about life becomes simple..

people ask me "why don't you drive?"

why do you?


terepod said...

ryan i miss you no homo

Jay said... :)