by the master

true stroke of genius and beauty.

sigh....

i'm in dire need of a vacation!!!!!!!!!


i would really like to write something bigger than a paragraph!!! but i just don't have the time or brain power right now. it seems like by the time i get home from work it's almost 11 and by that time all i have time for is eating a snack and falling asleep.. /:

smeh

i've been thinking a lot lately. well, i always think a lot. 'lately' just sounded nice.
i've been thinking about my goals, my dreams, my aspirations, the people i've hurt, and the people who have hurt me.
i've been thinking about my plans. the things i want to do, the people i want to meet, the love i'd like to share.
i've been thinking about my savings, where i want to travel, who i'd like to travel with.
i've been thinking about the people closest to me, who they are, what they do, what they're thinking.
i've been thinking about the first moment you realize you love someone. the way you feel all warm inside, the way your chest becomes filled with hot static like theres a fire in there.
i've been so utterly alone it stings to think about. i miss the warmth of another human. the feel of cold clammy hands meeting for the first time. the gentle naps you take on a quiet afternoon. the sunny morning conversations you share over a nice cup of tea. the cozy movie nights where you snuggle and share popcorn. the windy adventures with your mitten hands around each other's shoulder.

my thoughts always seem to betray each other.
for instance; i know that even though a meaningful relationship is something my heart is starved for. the fact that i am yearning for a girl-friend is cause enough to say i am not ready for a girlfriend. when you run head long into your desires, is when you fail to see the banana peel on the floor... i will be the first to admit i am not one for great strategy or planning. when i want something i go for it thats all there is to it. i don't plan i don't scrutinize i don't play games i just follow what my heart tells me.







well this is an incomplete thought.

blind test.

'Be Kind Rewind' Blind Test en Yahoo! Video

"maybe i should give you a blind test.."

with her went my future.

"everyone knows a man ain't suppose to cry... Listen! i gotta cry! cause cryin eases the pain."

sucker for love.

am i cursed to live with my heart on my sleeve?!

they make a pretty solid argument.

i thought this was pretty cool.

the box.

a small excerpt from my thoughts notepad:



"they cherish their lovers as you cherish your box.. as the remnants of what remains of your love life floats away from you...

...

some stand waiting for love to happen. stranded. waiting for some divine wind to blow in their romeo, their juliet. imagine that... as if on a breeze a puff of cloud your dream blew in on a silver plater. some are oblivious to this and stand there and continue to wait asking "where is he?" "where is she?" you silly fool! you wait too long and your chance is gone! fate gives you but one chance to take hold of the reins and if you miss it ... well. you miss it. so many friends so many acquaintances. yet you remain alone. not even the thought of a promise to comfort. but the BOX! the box remains! that thread, that stitch, that remainder of hope in your humanity you have left.."

i think this is next on my watch list... it seems more relevant to me than just sleeplessness.

poetry and me..

i posted that poem to explain a theory i have about relationships. but reading it i can only look back at it fondly. thinking about the way i felt and the things that were happening in my life. there are many regrets i have but i can't take back those memories nor would i for that matter. love is not for the faint of heart. and if you're not willing to feel every ache and moan of the heart then don't bother getting involved in anything other than a fling.

i just look back nostalgically. wishing i could write poetry as well as i could back then. . . .

sigh.


ps. please don't think of me as over self indulged for posting that (i don't remember if i posted it twice...)

what more could be said?

that i have not already told you.

And these few moments I atone a lifetime lost.

What on this day holds greater then others?

but

that four letter word love.

oh ! she is elusive i know that much.

and these lines too serve little permanence.

because sweet and perfect things fade.

and the glory forgotten.

will there be a memory of your beauty?

flowers are a testament to the

fragile souls within our bodies.

just as easily wither away.

and their tender petals soft, wilt.

they guard their gentle hearts.

fear the scorns future holds.

you naive flowers.

no rose will last forever.

everyone knows beauty is temporary .

love is eternal.

to hold a promise is to hold a thousand dreams in your palm and to hold true is to protect them forever.

i was right about this one...




there was something very special about this film




watch it! or borrow it from me.

something new tomorrow. just be patient...

i've heard this is great! i guess i'd better watch it then






really i think it's impossible to go wrong with anything by hayao miyazaki..

if you haven't seen amelie i truly feel sorry for you.. .